he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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