not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
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i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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