Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We got so high we made milksteak
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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