the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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