My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
