tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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