dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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