Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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