I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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