3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
