The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize