I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
my poor anus
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize