Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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