Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize