I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize