I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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