anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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