I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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