nut hugger
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize