Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize