Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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