remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize