In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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