my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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