I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize