i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize