tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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