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Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's Friday. Sex?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
a search helicopter?!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
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