Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize