I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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