im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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