i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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