Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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