at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize