He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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