It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dick very happy bro
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
dude. I can hear the air.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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