He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
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Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
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We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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