I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize