I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize