Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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