Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize