it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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