yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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