you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize