What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
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These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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