We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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