thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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