i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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