Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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