Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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