he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hippo gnu deer
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize