Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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