ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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