please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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